Consequences and Changes - Julesmonster (2024)

Part One

Justin wiped the spittle from his chin with a wet rag and closed his eyes in abject misery. How long had this been going on now? It seemed like forever, but it had only been about a week in reality. Seven days of spending an hour or more vomiting up everything in his stomach each morning. Seven days of feeling like death would be preferable for most of the morning and then feeling fine for the rest of the day. Justin had finally given in and made an appointment with his doctor to find out just what in the hell was going on.

Standing on shaky legs, Justin grabbed his toothbrush and squirted a small bit of toothpaste onto it. He had learned the hard way not to use too much. The overwhelming mint flavor would just send him right back to the toilet if he wasn’t careful. Once his teeth were cleaned, Justin felt a little better. He took a shower and dressed in comfortable clothes. He had found that, on top of the vomiting, his skin was more sensitive and he was getting tired quite easily as of late.

In some ways, Justin was glad that Brian wasn’t around to see all of this. If Justin had still been living at the loft, Brian would be hovering constantly over him and that was something he wasn’t sure he could handle right then. On the other hand, being ill and alone sucked. It would be nice to have someone offer to make tea when he felt like complete sh*t. He had even considered calling his mom, just so he could have someone coddle him for a little while. He thought better of that before he actually called, however; if his mother knew he was sick, she wouldn’t just want to coddle him for a couple hours. She would hover worse than Brian.

Justin looked at his reflection in the chipped bathroom mirror and sighed. He looked bad. He had bags under his eyes and he was paler than usual. His hair was limp and looked as lifeless as Justin felt. The old baggy cargos and long sleeve t-shirt that he was wearing did nothing for him, but they didn’t make him want to scratch his skin off so that’s what he was wearing. In all, Justin was pretty sure that he looked as awful as he felt. But since there wasn’t anything he could do to change that fact, he turned away from the mirror and headed for the front door.

Grabbing his winter jacket and his messenger bag, Justin locked up the apartment behind him and started down the four flights of stairs. The closest bus stop to the apartment was about three blocks away and, with the winter wind ripping through the city, it only took one of those blocks to have Justin shivering. By the time he actually made it onto the bus, Justin cursed the fact that he had forgotten the gloves, scarf and hat that Debbie had given him for Christmas a few weeks ago. She’d smack him if she saw him out in this weather with nothing to protect his head from the cold. He wanted to smack himself.

The trip to the doctor’s office took about an hour. If he had been in a car, it would have only taken about fifteen minutes. He probably should have asked for a ride, considering how sh*tty he felt, but he hadn’t wanted anyone else to know he was sick. It was bad enough that no one thought he could take care of himself, he didn’t need to prove them right.

Since he had moved out of the loft and to his own apartment, Justin had been inundated with concerned friends invading his home. Debbie and Jennifer both brought food on a regular basis, as though he couldn’t cook or feed himself. Emmett came by a couple times a week and called every day to check on him. Brian had hired a locksmith to change the locks on the door and then had an alarm installed, both while Justin was out at work or at class. Brian had also slowly replaced the old used furniture that Justin had picked up at the thrift store. Piece by piece, the things Justin bought were replaced with brand new furniture.

Part of the reason that Justin had moved out of the loft was the fact that he felt the need to prove to himself and to everyone else that he wasn’t a kid anymore. He could take care of himself. But none of them seemed to want to let him do that.

The other part of the reason for him moving out had to do with his relationship with Brian, but that was nothing new.

Justin got off the bus near his doctor’s office and trudged the five blocks over to the clinic. Once inside, he signed in and took a seat in the waiting room. Dr. Jones had been his doctor for ten years and Justin felt comfortable here. He was able to relax for a few minutes and so he shut his eyes.

Somehow, his moment of resting his eyes turned into a much needed nap. He didn’t wake until the nurse shook him gently. Justin blinked slowly at her until he was awake enough to follow her through to the exam room. Once there, he let her take his vitals, but once she left him alone to wait again, he curled up on the exam table and fell asleep once again.

Again, Justin was gently shaken awake, this time by Dr. Jones. “There you are, Justin,” the doctor said with a smile. “I’m guessing that exhaustion is part of the reason you’re here to see me?”

Justin nodded as he tried to get his bearings. “Yeah. I’m tired all the time. And I’ve been getting sick every day for a week. It usually only lasts for an hour or so, and it usually hits about the same time each day: around mid-morning.” Justin paused to scratch at his arm. “And I’m itchy. I mean, my skin has gotten pretty sensitive and dries out easily.”

“Well, you don’t have a fever or coughing,” Dr. Jones said. “So it’s more than likely nothing viral. I can run a few blood tests, but I’ll be honest with you Justin, it sounds to me like you’re pregnant.”

Justin frowned. “I… I can’t be pregnant.”

Dr. Jones sighed. “Justin, we discussed this when you were seventeen. Your mother insisted that we test you for the carrier gene. It was positive. You remember all that?”

“I remember,” Justin muttered. “And I read all the pamphlets you gave me. But… I’ve always been careful. When Brian and I were together, I was on birth control and we always used condoms. Always. But I moved out six months ago and we haven’t… Brian is the only person I let f*ck me and we haven’t since I moved out.”

“Are you sure about that?” Dr. Jones asked. “Because your symptoms certainly do point in that direction.”

Justin thought about it. “When I moved out, I stopped the birth control. I wasn’t sleeping with Brian and it was an added expense that didn’t seem necessary under the circ*mstances.” Justin was suddenly assaulted by an image of Brian under the mistletoe at Debbie’s house. “sh*t. I think we did it Christmas Eve. Debbie always puts way too much rum in the eggnog. I can’t… I know we f*cked, but I can’t be sure about the state of the condom. There really was no other time when it could have happened, if I really am pregnant.”

“Let’s start with an EPT,” Dr. Jones said and pulled a small box out of one of the cupboards in the room. “Just like on the commercials. You pee on the stick and wait five minutes for the results. If it’s negative, then we’ll run some blood tests to see what else could be going on. If it’s positive, then we’ll talk about what happens next.”

Justin nodded and took the small box before trudging his way to the small private bathroom down the hall. The test really was pretty simple, but waiting five minutes for the results was one of the hardest things he had ever done. In that time, he pulled out his phone to dial Brian at least ten times. Each time, he put it away again. He’d talk to Brian after he knew the results.

When the time was up, Justin looked at the stick and sighed. Of course it was positive. Damn it!

“Justin?”

The knock on the door startled Justin but he went to open the door. Dr. Jones was there, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Justin sighed. “Just pregnant.”

“Come on,” the doctor said. “Let’s go to my office and we can talk about your options and what you can expect.”

Justin followed Dr. Jones into his office and took a seat in the comfortable leather armchair. “I’m not going to abort. Even if the timing isn’t great, I can’t… I can’t do that. So, I guess that means I need to know what happens now.”

“Well, I’m going to refer you to a friend of mine who specializes in male pregnancies,” Dr. Jones said. “She’s the best obstetrician in the city, so I know you’ll be in good hands. Her office will set up appointments about every four weeks at first, and then closer together towards the end of the pregnancy. She’ll go over everything you’ll need to do to stay healthy. As we talked about when you were younger, male pregnancies are harder simply because a male body was not originally designed to carry a child; this is a relatively recent evolution. You’ll feel all of the things a woman feels, but just a little bit more intensely.”

Justin nodded. “How soon can I get in to see her?”

Dr. Jones smiled. “Let me call her now. We’ll see what we can do to get you in right away.”

Justin sat back and let Dr. Jones make the call. Now that he knew, Justin wasn’t really sure how he felt. He had been honest when he said he couldn’t have an abortion. It wasn’t a judgment on anyone else, but he knew that it wasn’t something he could do. He would spend the rest of his life feeling guilty and wondering what his child would have been like. He couldn't do that to himself.

But where did that leave him? He was almost finished school, at least. He would graduate in May, well before this baby was born. But his paid internship would end then, and there was no guarantee that they would offer him a job afterward. Suddenly, being an art major didn’t seem like the smartest thing he could have done. Maybe he should have taken business like his father had wanted. Then again, he would have hated that and being miserable wouldn't make him a good parent. If Brian's childhood was anything to go by, just the opposite.

Justin’s thoughts were interrupted when the doctor hung up the phone. “Well, I’ve arranged for you to go see Dr. Maria Guest on Thursday at 3pm. In the meantime, Maria suggested an antiemetic that I can prescribe to help with the severe nausea you have been experiencing. She and I will consult on your allergy meds before your appointment, just to make sure that there isn’t anything that could harm the fetus. And Justin, if you have any other concerns or questions, please feel free to call me.”

Justin accepted the prescription and the paper with Dr. Guest’s information on it before heading back out into the cold January wind.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin was freezing by the time he got back to his apartment and so he decided to run a bath to warm up. His apartment might not have much in the way of amenities, but at least the hot water worked and he had a big old-fashioned claw-foot tub to soak in. Once the bath was run and he had made himself a cup of tea, he sank into the tub and let the hot water drive away the bone-deep cold.

He had so many things he needed to consider. He needed a job. He had already sent his resume around to a few places around Pittsburgh, but he would need to consider the fact that he might need to look elsewhere.

The internship he had gotten at Kinnetik had been great so far. He’d been able to get the job without Brian’s influence, and he made enough to keep his apartment and have a little extra to put away. But the internship was up in only a few months and Gary, the head of the art department hadn’t made any overtures that indicated that they would offer him anything permanent. Perhaps he needed to make the first move.

Being pregnant while starting a new job would be difficult. What company wanted to hire someone only to have them take maternity leave three months into the job? He needed to get the job before his pregnancy became obvious, and the easiest place to do that was Kinnetik. He didn’t want to get the job because of his relationship with Brian—whatever that was—but if it was for the good of his child, he would do what needed to be done. He would attempt to get the job on his own, but if that didn’t work, all bets were off.

Since taking the internship at Kinnetik a year ago, both Brian and Justin had made it a priority to keep their personal relationship private. As far as anyone at Kinnetik was concerned, Justin was simply another intern. Only Cynthia and Ted knew that there was a connection between the two men. But if it meant having a way to raise his child comfortably, Justin would use his connection to Brian. He didn’t want to, but he would.

Trying to get the job on his own merits first meant that he would have to keep his pregnancy to himself for a while. If Brian knew, he would push to do things his way. Justin would end up with a job he didn’t earn, making more money than was fair and, knowing Brian, he’d be moved back to the loft within a day. He didn’t want that. He wanted Brian to ask him back because he realized that he wanted to build a life with Justin.

So he would keep the baby to himself for a while. It would be a few months before he began to show. He could do this.

BJBJBJBJBJ

“Gary?” Justin said as he poked his head through the art director’s office door two days later. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure Justin,” Gary said as he set aside a set of boards that had recently been sent back from Brian with notes for changes. “What’s up?”

“Two things, actually,” Justin said as he took the seat across the desk from his supervisor. “You know that I’m scheduled to graduate in May.”

“I did know that,” Gary said with a smile.

Justin nodded. “Well, I need to start thinking in terms of a permanent placement. My internship ends with graduation. I wondered if there was a possibility for a permanent job here.”

Gary sighed. “Justin, I love the work you do. And Brian rarely sends back anything that you’ve done, which says a lot for your talent. Having said that, I just don’t have any room in the budget to take on another full time artist. If that changes in the next few months, believe me, you are the first person I would call. And I’ll be happy to write you a glowing letter of recommendation.”

Justin sighed and nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“And the other thing you wanted to talk about?” Gary asked.

“I need to take off tomorrow,” Justin said. “I know I’m scheduled to work after class, but I have a doctor’s appointment at 3. I’ll have the Anderson boards finished this afternoon, so I should be all caught up.”

Gary nodded. “That’s fine. Is everything okay? You have been looking a bit pale lately.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Justin said. “This last semester has just been a little more stressful. The doctor’s appointment is just routine.”

Gary nodded but didn’t look like he completely believed Justin. “Well, you need to take care of yourself.”

“I am,” Justin smiled wanly. “I’d better get back to finish those boards.”

Part Two

Justin tried not to dwell on his meeting for the rest of the day, but it was always there in the back of his mind. He knew that Gary was being honest with him about the budget and his desire to hire him. But Gary didn’t control the money. Justin decided to be patient for a few weeks and see if something changed. In the meantime, he would send more resumes out to other agencies and companies.

Corporate life was not what he had envisioned when he dreamed of being an artist, but the money in advertising and graphic design was much better than what he would get selling his paintings. He’d been selling his work for a while now at local galleries and had even had some recognition by local critics, but he didn’t sell enough to support himself, let alone a baby. He needed a real job to do that, and he would get one, even if it meant moving to a new city. He had limited his job search before, but now, he was going to go wherever he could get the best offer.

Justin began that night. Within a couple hours, he had prepared resumes for forty advertising agencies that he would put in the mail the next morning.

BJBJBJBJBJ

While Justin was at his appointment the next day, Gary decided it was the perfect time to talk to Brian. He gathered up the boards from the Anderson account and brought them with him. It was a good excuse to meet with Brian.

Brian looked over the boards with a critical eye. “Change the text to a darker shade of blue and these are perfect.”

Gary smiled. “I’ll let Justin know you approve. You know, it’s too bad we’ll have to lose him in a few months. I’ll hate to see him going to one of our competitors with this kind of talent.”

Brian frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s graduating,” Gary said. “And his internship will be over.”

Brian, of course, knew that Justin was graduating, but he had never considered that would mean he would no longer be working at Kinnetik. “So hire him. His work is too good to let him go.”

“There’s no money in the budget to hire him,” Gary said.

Brian held back a growl. Instead he picked up his phone and called Ted. “Get your ass into my office, Theodore. And bring the art department budget.”

Gary smiled. He had been betting that Brian Kinney wouldn’t let a kid like Justin go without a fight. Looked like he was right.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin looked at the sonogram picture in wonder. Since leaving Dr. Guest’s office, it was all that he could do to tear his eyes away long enough to walk to the bus stop. That was his kid. His and Brian’s baby was growing inside of him. As crazy and scary as that fact was, Justin couldn’t help but be ecstatic.

Justin loved Gus, probably as much as Brian or Lindsay and Mel, but he would never get to be Gus's dad. Even if Brian and he got married and lived together for the rest of their lives, Gus would likely never be his son. There were already too many people fighting over that poor boy to add another one to the mix. He would never let Gus feel unwanted or unloved, but he couldn’t really hope to be Gus’ fourth parent. It would just break his heart when it didn't happen.

But this child… this baby was his and Brian’s. Justin would be this baby’s daddy and no one could ever take that away from him.

To celebrate, Justin decided to go to the Diner and get a milkshake and some lemon bars. He’d been craving the tartness of Debbie’s lemon bars for a few days now. Since taking the anti-nausea medication, Justin had found that he had a lot of cravings and he was actually able to keep them down. He had only thrown up once since, and then it had been relatively mild compared to the long sessions of nausea that had been his life the week before.

“Sunshine! What are you doing here?” Debbie asked with a wide smile. “Don’t you usually work now?”

“I do,” Justin said. “But I had a doctor’s appointment.” Before she could get concerned, Justin continued. “Don’t worry. It was just a routine checkup. I’m fine. In fact, I’d kill for a chocolate shake and a couple of your lemon bars.”

“You got it honey,” Debbie said.

BJBJBJBJBJ

“Where is Justin?” Brian asked Gary. They had spent three hours working through the budget to get enough money to offer Justin a permanent job. “You should let him know about the offer before another agency gets to him. I want him under contract as soon as possible.”

Gary smiled. “He’s at a doctor’s appointment. Just routine, he said, but he has been looking a little under the weather the last couple weeks. I’ll let him know when he comes in on Monday.”

Brian nodded and Gary left his office, leaving Brian alone to think. Brian knew Justin’s doctor didn’t take appointments on Thursday afternoons. Almost five years of living with the boy, on and off, had taught him a few things about Justin’s life. Dr. Jones never took patients on Thursday afternoons. It was his golf day.

Just to be sure that something hadn’t changed in the last six months since Justin had moved out again, Brian picked up the phone and called the clinic where Dr. Jones had his practice. Five minutes of charming lies later, Brian knew that Justin didn’t have an appointment that day, but he had seen Dr. Jones on Monday and had gotten a referral to another doctor.

Brian swore. What the hell was going on with Justin? He had seen him only once in the last couple weeks—he’d been away on business part of that time and the rest, well, he just didn’t go to the art department very often—but that one time he had seen him, Justin had looked pale and tired. A memory of Brian’s bout with cancer flashed through his mind and he shuddered at the thought that something serious could be wrong with Justin. Justin would tell him if that was the case, wouldn’t he?

The truth was, Brian wasn’t sure that he would. When Justin had moved out this last time, Brian had been sure that all he would have to do was wait for Justin to come back to him again. Even when Justin had left him for Ethan, Justin had quickly realized his mistake and had come back. This time, they hadn’t even fought before Justin left. He’d simply said that he needed space and time without Brian. So Brian had given that to him. Sure he made certain that Justin’s apartment was safe and comfortable, but he was determined to let Justin do whatever he needed to do on his own.

But it had been six months and Justin still hadn’t come back to him. They hadn’t even f*cked. Well, there had been that one time at Deb’s Christmas Eve party, but that had been the only time. They still talked, but they very rarely saw each other, even with working in the same building. Justin seemed to have truly moved on this time. That thought was almost as distressing as the idea that Justin could be seriously ill.

Brian looked at the clock. It was after five and he hadn’t had lunch yet. He decided a quick trip to the Diner was in order before he came back to work for a few more hours. He had a big presentation to Anderson Cosmetics coming up and needed to be fully prepared.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin looked up from his second lemon bar when the door to the diner opened and Brian came through. The brunet spotted him right away and came over to join him. “So, I hear you had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, Sunshine.”

Justin frowned. “Gary told you?”

“Yes,” Brian said. “Now answer the f*cking question.”

“Yes, I had a doctor’s appointment,” Justin sighed. “But it was just a routine checkup like I told Gary.”

“Try again. Dr. Jones doesn’t give referrals to specialists for nothing,” Brian said.

Justin sat back with a huff. “Jesus Brian! You called my doctor? What the f*ck?”

“Just tell me what the f*ck is going on!” Brian growled.

“I’m fine and that’s all you have a right to know,” Justin said. He pulled out his wallet and left money for his food before standing. “You aren’t my boyfriend or my partner, Brian. That was your choice. You don’t have any right to go to my doctor for personal information. If I want you to know something, I’ll f*cking tell you. In the meantime, back the f*ck off!”

Justin stormed from the diner, leaving Brian sitting there fuming. What the f*ck had just happened?

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin spent the weekend working on class assignments and sending out more resumes. After his argument with Brian on Thursday, Justin was actually rather glad that Gary hadn’t offered him a job. Maybe it was for the best if he got the hell away from Brian. Justin had no illusions that Brian would be happy about being a father again. Not that he wouldn’t love and provide for the child, just as he did for Gus, but he would not be pleased. He had no desire to settle down and be a family man. If Justin got a job and moved away, Brian wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Justin couldn’t spend the rest of his life mooning over a man who was never going to change. He still loved Brian and probably always would, but Brian couldn’t—or wouldn’t—give him what he needed. And with a baby on the way, Justin needed stability more than ever. He needed the emotional support that Brian just wasn’t willing to give him.

Brian would continue to try to have things his way as long as Justin allowed him. That was the real reason for him moving out of the loft. Brian simply took his presence in his life for granted and Justin couldn’t live like that any longer. Justin had no doubt that Brian loved him, even if he could never say it. But he would never make the commitment that Justin wanted and needed if Justin kept giving in to him.

After six months apart, Justin was afraid that Brian would never get over his issues.

So Justin sent out resumes. If Brian couldn’t give him the home and family that Justin needed, then Justin would do it himself. He and this baby would make their own family and Brian could f*ck off. He would never keep Brian from being a part of their child’s life, but Justin was tired of being Brian’s back up plan.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Gary was out sick on Monday and Tuesday, so Justin went about his life as usual. On Wednesday, he got two offers for interviews from a couple of the places in Pittsburgh he had sent resumes a few weeks earlier, so when Gary called him into his office to make the job offer, Justin wasn’t feeling quite as desperate as he had been the week before.

“Can I have a few weeks to consider the offer?” Justin asked.

Gary nodded. “I suppose so. I do hope you know that we worked very hard to create this position for you. We really would like to keep you at Kinnetik.”

“I appreciate that,” Justin said with a smile. “And I love working here, but I have some other things to consider now. I can’t just jump at the first offer.”

Almost as soon as Justin left the office, Brian was on Gary’s phone. “Well?”

“He said he needs a few weeks to consider his options,” Gary said.

“What the f*ck?” Brian muttered.

“He’s pretty talented,” Gary said. “You had to know we wouldn’t be the only firm to make him an offer.”

“We’re the best in Pittsburgh,” Brian said petulantly. “And the best in Pennsylvania”

Gary chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets offers from LA or New York, Brian. He’s young and extremely talented. His work earned this firm several awards as an intern. That’s almost unheard-of.”

“f*ck, I know that,” Brian grumbled. “But… sh*t! Do what you can to get him to sign.”

Gary hesitated. “Brian, you know I want to keep Justin. He’s one of the best graphic artists I’ve ever worked with. But aren’t you taking this a little…personally?”

“Just get him to stay,” Brian ordered and hung up the phone. He sat back in his chair and thought. Justin wasn’t the type to play games looking for more money, which meant that he really was considering other offers. Brian couldn’t let the little sh*t go anywhere. This break was bad enough. If Justin left Pittsburgh, that would be the end of them and Brian couldn’t live with that.

Part Three

Three weeks passed and Justin still hadn’t given Gary an answer on the job. In that time, he’d had ten interviews. Some had been local, but most of them were conducted via webcam. He now had seven job offers to choose from: two in New York, one in Seattle, one in Atlanta, and three in Pittsburgh. Unfortunately, he was no closer to making a decision. The money was great from any one of the offers, but when it came right down to it, now that his anger at Brian had cooled, Justin didn’t really want to leave his family and friends in Pittsburgh. Kinnetik had the best local offer, but Justin still had reservations about being under Brian’s thumb.

Justin was sitting home on a Sunday afternoon, reading through all the offers again when there was a knock on his door. This was not an unusual occurrence, since Debbie and Jennifer often just dropped by. Justin simply went to the door and flung it open. It wasn’t either of the two women, however.

“Can you explain to me why you still haven’t signed the contract with Kinnetik?” Brian demanded as he barged into the apartment.

“Well, hello to you too,” Justin said with a falsely sweet voice. “Won’t you come in and make yourself at home?”

Brian glared at him. “Twat. Just answer my question.”

Justin went back to the table and sat down. He ignored Brian as he shuffled through the contracts again.

“What are those?” Brian asked warily.

“These are the various job offers I have received in the last three weeks,” Justin said. “There are seven so far. The best one is from Kennedy and Collins. Ironic, huh?”

“May I?” Brian asked and Justin handed him the offers.

Brian took a few minutes to look through them, so Justin got up to make some peppermint tea. Since he was off caffeine, the herbal tea had become his drink of choice. He made a second cup for Brian, knowing that he would hate it. Of course, Brian was so caught up in reading through the job offers he didn’t even notice what he was drinking at first.

“These are some great offers.” Brian sounded defeated. He took another sip of the tea before making a face. “What the f*ck is this sh*t?”

“Peppermint tea,” Justin smirked. “And I know the offers are good.”

“Kinnetik can’t match them,” Brian said. “The agency in Atlanta offered you a f*cking car.”

“I know,” Justin said.

“You’d probably be smart to choose Kennedy and Collins,” Brian conceded. He hated to do it, but as much as he hated the idea of Justin leaving, he hated holding him back even more. He took another sip of the tea and grimaced again. “They offer the best position for career advancement.”

“It probably would be the smart thing to do,” Justin said. “But I’m not moving to New York.”

Brian stared at Justin. “Why not?”

“I have my reasons,” Justin shrugged. “Tell me something, would you have made the offer you made if we didn’t have history together?”

“In a heartbeat,” Brian said. “I’ve known for a while that you’re going to be great in this business.”

Justin nodded. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Justin…” Brian groaned. “You know I don’t like making promises.”

“I do know that,” Justin said. “Do it anyway. I need your word that business is business and personal is personal. No special favors. No using your position as my boss to check up on my private life. No more calls to my doctor without my permission.”

Brian stared at Justin. “I promise to keep our private lives out of the office.”

“Okay,” Justin said and took a deep breath. He took the stack of contracts and quickly found the one from Kinnetik. Without hesitation, he signed on the bottom line and handed it to Brian. “You can give that to legal tomorrow.”

Brian took the contract, but he couldn’t leave well enough alone. “Why? You should have taken one of the better offers.”

Justin laughed. “This is business Brian, and that’s a personal question.”

“I’m not asking as your employer,” Brian said. “As your employer, I’m very glad you signed and I’ll make sure that the contract is filed properly. But as your friend, why would you take less money and fewer perks?”

Justin took a deep breath. “Let’s go sit on the sofa. I need to be comfortable for this conversation.”

Brian went over to the red leather sofa that he had picked out for Justin’s apartment. It was the first time he had actually been invited to sit on it. He sat beside Justin and waited.

“You asked me about my doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago,” Justin said.

“And you told me it was none of my business,” Brian said. “Since you have been looking less tired and wrung out, I assumed that whatever it was got better.”

“I shouldn’t have said it wasn’t your business,” Justin sighed. “It is your business; I just wasn’t ready to talk to you about it yet.”

“What is it?” Brian asked, really concerned now.

“I’m pregnant,” Justin said.

“But…”

“It had to have happened Christmas Eve,” Justin said. “Because I don’t bottom for anyone but you. And there really haven’t been that many tricks lately anyway.”

“But… you can’t…”

“f*ck Brian,” Justin muttered. “Snap out of it. You knew I was a carrier. Why the f*ck else do you think I was on birth control for four years?”

“I know you’re a carrier,” Brian said, finally snapping out of his daze. “But, like you said, you were on birth control! Not to mention the condoms we used.”

“Condoms break,” Justin said. “Tell me you were sober enough to really know for sure, because I sure as hell wasn’t.” Brian stayed silent. “That’s what I thought. As for the birth control, I stopped taking it after I moved out. We weren’t f*cking so there seemed little point.”

“I think I can see the point,” Brian muttered. Justin glared at him, so he changed topics. “What are you planning to do?”

“I’m planning on having a baby in about seven months,” Justin said. “I considered getting out of here. The baby and I could have started over some place new. But I took the job with Kinnetik because I want my kid to be around his or her family. I’m going to need their support being a single father.”

Brian was silent for a while. “You know I won’t let you do this alone.”

Justin gave a sad laugh, “I know, Brian. But you aren’t interested in settling down and being a family either. That’s okay. The kid and I will be just fine. You can be as involved as you want to be in his or her life, but I’m not going to ask you take care of us financially. I’m not going to ask you to give us anything. And you know that my mother and Debbie will be waiting in line to help out any way that I let them.”

“Not to mention Emmett,” Brian said wryly.

“Yeah.”

Brian leaned back and closed his eyes for a few minutes. When he opened them again, he saw Justin watching him. “So this is why you made me make that promise.”

“Yeah,” Justin said. “Things are going to be complicated enough without adding our personal life to the office.”

“Do you really think you will be able to keep the fact that you’re having my kid out of the office?” Brian smirked.

“No, but I can make sure that the two of us have boundaries and stick to them,” Justin asserted.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin felt better after telling Brian about the baby, but he still wasn’t quite ready to share the news with anyone else. Brian agreed to keep things between them for the time being but extracted a promise from Justin to allow him to attend the next doctor’s appointment. So, that Thursday, he went to work for a few hours after class and then he and Brian drove to Dr. Guest’s office together.

“Hello Justin,” the doctor said cheerfully as she entered the exam room. “Oh, and I see you brought a friend this time.”

“Dr. Guest, this is Brian Kinney,” Justin said. “He’s the father.”

“Nice to meet you,” Brian said.

“I’m glad that you decided to come,” the doctor said with a smile. “Justin will need all the support he can get in the coming weeks and months. Male pregnancies can be rather difficult at times.”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing a bit of reading on the subject,” Brian said. “I did have a few questions for you.”

“Okay,” Dr. Guest said. “Why don’t we go ahead and get the exam out of the way and then we can all sit down in my office and I can try to answer any questions you might have.”

Brian stood beside Justin as the doctor went through the normal exam process and asked him a number of questions about his appetite, nausea, and other concerns that may have come up over the intervening four weeks.

“The nausea is a lot better with the medication, but I still can’t go for long without,” Justin admitted. “I still feel pretty queasy around mid-morning and mid-afternoon even taking the pills.”

“Try nibbling on saltines or ginger snaps,” the doctor suggested. “And try to eat smaller meals more often through the day. That way, even if you do get sick, you’ll lose fewer nutrients. How has that lotion I recommended worked?”

“The itching has nearly stopped,” Justin said. “Thanks for that.”

“And the cravings?” She had moved to get the sonogram machine ready while they continued to talk.

“I’ve moved on from normal things like lemon bars and milkshakes to weird things like peanut butter, bologna and banana sandwiches,” Justin said wryly.

“That’s probably a good idea,” the doctor agreed. “But you don’t have to cut salt out completely, just watch how much you’re eating. Like the processed meats, moderation is the key. Now, are you ready to see the baby?”

“More than,” Justin said.

The doctor squirted gel onto Justin’s belly and soon had the Doppler wand in place as she searched for the best view of the still tiny fetus. “Okay, there you are.”

Brian leaned forward to see the baby on the monitor. The picture was rough, but he could actually see the baby there. Its head and body were clearly visible, though the arms and legs were just tiny nubs. And the whoosh-whoosh of the baby’s heart rang through the small room. Brian was absolutely speechless. He’d never been part of Lindsay’s exams when she was pregnant with Gus. Now he wondered how much he had missed by being so caught up in himself.

“That’s amazing,” Brian whispered.

“We do sonograms more often with male pregnancies, though I have yet to meet a patient who tires of seeing their baby. And in a couple months we’ll be able to tell the sex,” Dr. Guest said. “For now, we’re just looking to see that he or she is developing properly. And that is definitely the case. Everything looks great.”

She shut down the machine and printed off a couple pictures for the two fathers. “I’ll let you get cleaned up, Justin,” the doctor said. “You know the way to the office when you’re finished.”

Brian helped Justin wipe the gel from his abdomen and then waited while the blond got dressed. “What’s it feel like?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged. “Right now, it doesn’t feel like much. I mean, I know the baby’s in there, but there’s no real connection. The rest of it is just an annoyance. I mean, nausea and being tired all the time isn’t exactly fun. I figure once I start to show, it might feel more real.”

Brian nodded and followed Justin down the hall to the office. The doctor was there, typing up her notes. “So, Brian, what questions do you have for me?”

“Well, first of all, is there anything I should be doing to make sure Justin’s okay?” Brian asked.

“Justin is a healthy young man,” she said with a smile. “He’s doing just fine. I’ll tell you what I told him. He needs to listen to his body and pay attention to how he’s feeling. As long as he’s feeling okay, then he probably is. I can tell that you’re one of those fathers who want to do everything for his partner to try and protect him. I can tell you that the only thing that will accomplish is to piss Justin off.”

“Too right,” Justin muttered.

“If Justin needs something, I’m sure he’ll let you know,” the doctor said as though Justin hadn't spoken. “The mood swings alone will be more than enough for you to handle.”

“Thank god we haven’t had many of those yet,” Justin said.

“Justin is fine to carry on his normal activities,” Dr. Guest continued with a smile for her patient. “And moderate exercise is good for him.”

“What about sex?” Brian asked.

“Brian…”

Brian ignored Justin’s warning. “I just don’t want to do something that would hurt either of them.”

“Brian, we haven’t had sex since this kid was conceived,” Justin said dryly. “I doubt you’ll be able to hurt us from your loft.”

“With our history, are you counting out the possibility it could happen?” Brian asked with an arched brow. “Considering the last time you did, you got pregnant, I’d think you’d be more open to the possibility that the two of us tend to fall into certain patterns.”

“Sex is fine,” the doctor said with an amused smile. “Right now, Justin is probably too tired to want sex on a regular basis, but once his body adjusts his hormones will probably cause a spike in his sexual appetites. When and if that happens, it is perfectly okay to indulge him as often as he wants.”

“Thank you,” Brian said. “I suppose that’s all for now.”

“Justin, did you have any questions?”

“Nope,” Justin said. “I think I’m set.”

They thanked the doctor again before heading back to the car. Justin was quiet for most of the ride to his apartment, but just before Brian pulled up out front, he asked, “What makes you think I’m going to come to you to fulfill my sexual needs if the pregnancy really does make me horny?”

Brian sighed and put the car in park. “I learned a long time ago not to assume anything where you’re concerned. Having said that, I know you, Justin; you may like tricking occasionally, but you don't love it and you don't do it often unless I'm there with you. You probably won’t want to trick at all once you begin to show. You’re going to want to trust whomever you’re with right now. And as f*cked up as the rest of our relationship is, I think you do still trust me.”

“I do,” Justin said quietly. “I still love you, too.” He didn’t wait for Brian to respond. Instead, he quickly got out of the car and rushed inside to his apartment.

Part Four

Brian tried not to hover over Justin, he really did, but he found himself standing outside the art department at least a couple times a day over the next few weeks. He would simply stand outside the door and look. He just needed to reassure himself that Justin was okay. Justin had caught him a few times, but he hadn’t said anything about it yet. Ted, on the other hand, wasn’t nearly so considerate.

“Brian,” Ted said after he caught Brian outside the art department again. “Can we talk in your office?”

“Sure, Theodore,” Brian said. He led the way back to his office and took his seat behind the desk. “What’s up?”

“Is there a problem with the art department?” Ted asked.

“Not that I know of,” Brian said, his face blank of emotion.

“Then is there something going on with Justin?” Ted pressed. “Because you’ve been spending a lot of time outside the art department and it’s starting to make them all very nervous. Gary’s worried that you don’t trust him. The artists have been coming to me and Cynthia with concerns. They think you’re ready to clear out the entire department. If it’s something personal between you and Justin, you need to deal with it outside the office before the whole department crumbles.”

Brian sat back in his seat and sighed. He wanted to be angry with Ted, but he knew the man was right and was simply looking out for his best interests. “This doesn’t leave this room.”

Ted sat down in the chair in front of Brian’s desk and nodded. “You have my word.”

“Justin is a carrier,” Brian said. “And he’s pregnant.”

Ted was frozen in place for a moment and then he nodded slowly. “And you’re the father?”

“You’re smarter than you look, Theodore,” Brian snarked. “Yes, it’s mine. Justin doesn’t let anyone f*ck him but me. Not even the fiddler had that privilege.”

“Wow. So… what’s going to happen?” Ted asked. “I mean, are you two getting back together?”

“I’m not even totally sure why he left this time,” Brian admitted. “He’s made it pretty clear that he’s not interested in getting back together. But he’s also said he still loves me. I just don’t get it.”

“Why exactly did he say he was leaving?” Ted wondered. He had heard the party line, but neither Brian nor Justin would tell the whole story.

“I got the same story that everyone else got,” Brian said. “He wants to be independent. But I know there’s more to it than that. When he told me about the baby, he said he knew I wasn’t interested in settling down and being a family man. He said I could be as much a part of their lives as I was comfortable being.”

“Sounds to me like he’s tired of playing the game by your rules,” Ted said carefully.

“What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?” Brian barked.

“It means that you live your life by a set of rules and you expect him to follow those same rules,” Ted said. “It can’t be a surprise to you that he doesn’t want to live that way indefinitely. From day one, he’s made it clear that he wants more from you. Every time you two have split up was because he couldn’t live with your rules.”

“He wants the f*cking white picket fence,” Brian muttered, finally understanding. “I can’t give him that.”

“Then he made the right decision,” Ted said gently. “Especially now that there’s a kid involved. A kid deserves a stable home. If you can’t give either of them that, then Justin will.”

Brian sighed. “But I can’t just let him go.”

“Then you need to figure out, once and for all, if continuing your reign as the Stud of Liberty Ave is worth what you’ll be giving up,” Ted said. He stood up. “In the meantime, try not to be so obvious when you hover.”

“Get the f*ck out, Theodore,” Brian said, but there was no heat behind his words.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian considered his conversation with Ted for a while, but it wasn’t until after Justin’s next doctor’s appointment that he decided to really weigh his options. Seeing their baby moving on the sonogram screen, arms and legs now almost as developed as the body, was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Suddenly, not being around for all the little changes that Justin was going through was not acceptable. So Brian set out on a mission.

His first stop was to Mikey and the professor. “Do you ever miss the free and single life you had before settling down in Stepford heaven?”

“No,” both men said unequivocally.

“Well, that was rather emphatic,” Brian said.

Mikey rolled his eyes. “What’s there to miss?”

“The four D’s,” Brian said. “Dancing, drinking, drugs, and dick.”

“The drugs make me feel like sh*t the next day,” Mikey said.

“Same goes for the booze,” Ben put in.

“We still go dancing when we want,” Mikey said. “And the tricks… well, they were okay, but there’s nothing that they could give us that we don’t give to each other. I mean, sex is so much better with someone who knows just what you want and need. Familiarity is the key.”

Sex with Justin had always been better, so Brian guessed he understood that point, though he disagreed that it was because of familiarity. Even that very first night, when Justin was still a virgin, the sex had been spectacular. Sex was better with Justin simply because it was Justin.

“Don’t you get bored?” Brian asked. “I mean, sitting at home every night?”

“We don’t sit home every night,” Ben objected. “But when we do, it’s good because we actually like talking to each other and spending time together. Didn’t you and Justin have nights when you’d just hang around the loft? Were you bored then?”

Brian didn’t bother to answer him. He had never once been truly bored with Justin around. They didn’t have to even be doing anything exciting. Just working on their respective projects on opposite ends of the loft was better than doing the same thing alone.

“Brian, what’s this about?” Mikey asked.

Brian smirked. “I’m conducting a survey.”

The next stop was to the munchers’. He played with Gus for a while, but after Mel took the boy to bed, Brian stuck around to talk to Lindsay. “What’s it like being a full-time parent?”

Lindsay chuckled. “You don’t ask simple questions do you? Well, it’s not easy. Sometimes it’s frustrating as all hell not being able to get any privacy or time away. But…”

“But?” Brian prompted.

“But for every moment of frustration, there’s ten of happiness,” Lindsay said. “It’s exciting watching Gus and JR grow up. I get a front row seat to all their accomplishments. And the love those two give back make all the rest of it worth it.”

Brian left soon after that since Mel came back downstairs. He made trips to see Debbie and Carl, Ted and Blake, and even Jennifer. He needed to understand what exactly it was about settling down that appealed to Justin. They all said basically the same thing: being together was infinitely better than being alone. Some spoke of compromise. Some told him about how comforting it was to have one person love them so much that they chose to spend their life together.

Emmett really laid it out for Brian, however. “We all spend our youth looking for fun and physical release. But that gets tiring. And when you get tired of keeping up all the bullsh*t that is dating and tricking, you just want to find one person that you can love and who can love you back so you don’t die alone.”

“Gee thanks for that bit of uplifting wisdom,” Brian snarked.

“Honestly, Brian,” Emmett said. “Aren’t you getting tired of all the games and bullsh*t by now? Sure it feels great to get your co*ck sucked, but then you go home alone. The bed is cold and there’s no one there to kiss in the morning.”

A few years ago, Brian would have scoffed at the appeal of morning kisses. He would have spouted that he didn’t need anyone to warm his bed. But that was before Justin invaded his life and his heart. Since Justin had moved out, he had realized just how lonely his loft—and his life—was without Justin in it.

BJBJBJBJBJ

While Brian was contemplating whether or not he could give Justin what he clearly wanted, he made a point of going over to Justin’s apartment often in the evenings. There was still no sex—at least not between the two of them—but Brian felt the need to spend time with Justin. So most nights, Justin worked on his school projects while Brian either worked on projects from Kinnetik or watched television. Justin never once complained about having Brian there, and he actually seemed to enjoy his presence. Dinner was usually delivered, but Brian made sure that they got healthy things for Justin and the baby.

Brian realized one evening that this was what Ben and Mikey had been telling him about. He had known it then, but he hadn’t realized just how nice it was to simply spend time with the person you love.

“You need a bigger apartment,” Brian said one evening. Justin was midway through his fourth month, now. It had been more than two months since Justin had told him about the baby, and still they hadn’t shared their news with anyone else.

“I know,” Justin said distractedly. “I’ll look after finals.”

Justin only had three weeks left of school. A lot of things were being put off until after finals. “You can’t put everything off forever.”

Justin looked up from his work and frowned. “I’m not. I just don’t have time to look right now.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Brian said. “You haven’t even told your mother about the baby yet. You’re four months pregnant and you are starting to show.”

Justin looked down at his belly as though it might have suddenly ballooned out in the last couple hours. It was still the same as it had been that morning. “I’m not really showing yet.”

“None of your pants will button, Justin,” Brian said.

That was true. Justin’s hips had widened and his belly had bulged just enough to make buttoning his pants impossible. “You can’t tell with my shirt untucked,” Justin said with a shrug.

“Again, not the point,” Brian said.

“What is the point?” Justin asked.

“The point is, you keep putting off telling anyone about the baby and I want to know why,” Brian said.

Justin sighed and closed his text book. It was clear he wasn’t going to get anything else done until they talked. “It’s not because I’m ashamed or anything like that. At first it was because I hadn’t told you. And then it was because most miscarriages happen in the first trimester. Now… I guess I just was enjoying having this for myself for a while. Once everyone knows, they’ll all want to be a part of it and everything will be about the baby.”

“It’s time to tell them,” Brian said.

“I know,” Justin said as he sat on the sofa beside Brian. “I also need to get some new clothes.”

“We’ll go shopping this weekend,” Brian said. “And then we can have dinner with your mother and Tucker.”

Justin groaned. “Does Tucker have to be there?”

Brian chuckled and pulled Justin into a hug. “You’ll survive.”

The two of them snuggled on the sofa in silence for a while before Justin finally pulled away. “Um, Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember that discussion we had about pregnancy hormones?” Justin bit his lip and hoped he didn’t have to spell it out for Brian. He wasn’t feeling all that attractive, but he was feeling very, very horny.

Brian chuckled. “I remember.”

Brian stood up and then pulled Justin up as well. “Let’s go to bed.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

That night, Brian let loose the beast. Once Justin had sex, it was suddenly like he couldn’t go more than a couple hours without getting off. It didn’t matter where they were, either. Despite his resolve to keep their private life away from work, Justin would often go to Brian’s office and lock the door for fifteen minutes. They had sex in restaurant bathrooms. They had sex in the fitting room when they went shopping. That one was particularly hot. Brian pressed Justin into the fitting room wall and f*cked him while Justin moaned and shouted his release. They’d been escorted from the store by security, but it had definitely been worth it.

Now, they were preparing for dinner with Jennifer. Instead of getting dressed, however, Justin was quickly peeling Brian’s clothes off. “Your mother will be here any minute,” Brian tried to object, but it was a weak protest at best. Justin’s lips on his neck, just behind his ear where he was most sensitive, made any real opposition impossible.

“She’ll wait,” Justin murmured as he went for the buckle on Brian’s belt. In seconds, Brian’s pants were around his ankles and Justin’s hand was stroking his co*ck.

“f*ck, baby,” Brian groaned. “Gotta have you.”

“Good,” Justin said triumphantly. He grabbed the lube and a condom from the end table drawer and handed them to Brian before dropping his own pants and positioning himself over the back of the sofa.

Brian barely had the presence of mind to prepare Justin. How could he be expected to think clearly when presented with such a sight? With as often as they had been f*cking in the past few days, it didn’t take long to get Justin ready. And then Brian was sliding home. Both men let out a groan of satisfaction, relishing the feeling of being connected once again.

“No time to savor the moment,” Justin gasped out. “f*ck me.”

Brian took that as his cue to move. It was a fast and furious f*ck. Every time Brian attempted to slow things down, Justin would do something—flex his anal muscles, thrust back into Brian, demand that Brian f*ck him “faster” and “harder”—to make going slow and easy impossible. It didn’t take long for either of them to reach their climax.

“Good thing you bought a leather sofa,” Justin managed to gasp out as he looked down at his cum dripping down the back of said furniture. “I need a wet cloth.”

Brian huffed a laugh through his panting breaths. “I think I heard a knock on the door.”

Justin stood up straight just as another knock sounded. “sh*t! She’s here.”

While Justin rushed to clean himself and the sofa, Brian went to dispose of the used condom, wash his hands and straighten out his clothes. When he emerged, he saw Justin finally opening the door.

“Are we early?” Jennifer asked with a raised brow. Justin flushed, but Brian just smirked in return. Jennifer was used to their antics by now. Even Tucker looked somewhat amused.

“Lovely to see you again, Mother Taylor,” Brian said. “You too Tucker.”

Brian gave her a kiss to the cheek before shaking Tucker’s hand. Justin kissed his mom and then showed her to the sitting area. He totally ignored Tucker.

“It’s like I don’t even exist,” Tucker muttered to Brian as he passed.

Brian chuckled. “Better to be ignored when the alternative is Justin in full snit.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Tucker sighed. He followed Brian over to the sitting area and took a seat beside Jennifer on the sofa.

Justin quickly excused himself to check on their dinner, though Brian knew for a fact that everything that could be prepared had already been prepared. They were just waiting for the lemon and herb chicken to finish baking. Brian took drink orders and then joined Justin in the closet-sized kitchen.

“Calm down Sunshine,” Brian said as he gave Justin a hug. Justin sagged into his arms.

“Sorry,” Justin sighed. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

“I’d give you some Beam to calm your nerves but that’s not gonna happen,” Brian said with a smirk.

“f*ck you,” Justin laughed and pulled away. “If you’re getting drinks, I’ll have peppermint tea, thank you.”

Brian rolled his eyes, but turned on the electric kettle he had bought for Justin recently. While Justin checked on the chicken, Brian poured three glasses of pinot grigio and took two out to Jennifer and Tucker before going back to make Justin’s tea. Once that was finished, Brian took the tea out to the table in the other room and helped Justin get the food out. He gave the blond one last hug before calling Jennifer and Tucker to the table. Soon everyone was seated and enjoying the meal.

“So, Justin,” Jennifer said. “While this meal is delicious and the company delightful, I get the feeling that there is more to this dinner invitation than a desire to be sociable.”

“Um, yeah,” Justin said and took a long sip of his tea. “Yeah.”

“Are you and Brian getting back together?” Jennifer prompted with a smile. She had never understood why Justin and Brian couldn’t make things work. It was obvious to her how much they loved each other.

“No,” Justin said slowly. “Though Brian is part of the reason we’re here.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Just spit it out Sunshine.”

Justin took a deep breath while Jennifer and Tucker looked on with some amusem*nt. “I’m pregnant.”

The amusem*nt dropped from Jennifer’s face and was replaced with a mixture of shock, joy and confusion. “Sweetie, are you sure?”

“The doctor I’ve been seeing is pretty sure,” Justin said. “We have sonograms, if you’d like to see them.”

“I’m sure all that can wait,” Brian said. “Are you okay, Jennifer?”

“I’m… I’m fine,” Jennifer stammered out. “I’m… I’m going to be a grandmother?”

“You are,” Brian confirmed.

She glanced back and forth between Brian and Justin. “And you aren’t getting back together?”

“No, mom,” Justin sighed.

“Oh,” Jennifer said quietly. “Alright then, how far along are you? When are you due?”

“I just hit the midway point,” Justin said. “Twenty weeks. My due date is September 16^th.”

“Half way…” Jennifer gasped. “You little sh*t! You kept this from me for four and a half months!”

Brian chuckled. “Your mom has been hanging out with Debbie for too long.”

Jennifer flushed when she realized what she had said, but she pulled herself together admirably. “Well, you should have told me sooner. Both of you!”

“Congratulations,” Tucker said.

“Thanks,” Justin muttered, unable to ignore the man when he spoke directly to him. Brian smirked at Justin’s country club manners.

“Does Debbie know yet?” Jennifer asked Brian.

Brian shook his head. “We thought we’d tell the gang at dinner tomorrow.” Debbie always hosted family dinners on Sunday afternoons. Brian didn't always attend, but Justin usually did.

“I would tell her before you make the grand announcement,” Jennifer advised.

Justin nodded. “We were planning on going over a little early so we could talk to her alone.”

“While we have you here,” Brian said. “I was hoping you could start looking for a larger place for Justin and the baby. He hasn’t even begun to look and won’t consider it until after finals are over.”

“Just for Justin and the baby?” Jennifer said.

“That’s right,” Justin said. “I told you, Brian and I aren’t getting back together.”

Tucker took Jennifer’s hand and she nodded. “I’ll start looking for options. Anything in particular you’d like?”

“Two bedrooms,” Justin said.

“Make that three,” Brian told her. He turned to Justin. “Minimum. Daphne will want to stay when she's in town or one of the babysitters could stay over.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “I can’t afford three bedrooms in a decent neighborhood.”

“Of course you can,” Brian frowned. “I will be contributing to the care of my child. I know you won’t ask for financial help, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to give it. I have a legal and moral obligation, not to mention I want to help. I want my kid to grow up in a happy home. That means his or her primary caregiver shouldn’t have to be scrounging for every penny.”

Justin huffed a laugh. “Fine. Three bedrooms.”

“Are we talking about a house or an apartment?” Jennifer asked.

“Either,” Justin told her. “But think more along the lines of the loft or this place than your condo. I like the open feeling in the living spaces.”

“A safe neighborhood,” Brian said. “And near a park would be nice.”

“Anything else?” Jennifer asked.

“A washer and dryer,” Justin said. “Babies need a lot of laundry done. I don’t want to spend every evening at the Laundromat.”

“Alright,” Jennifer said. “I think I’ve got enough to start with. So, tell me, have you found out if it’s a boy or girl yet?”

“We have an appointment this week,” Brian said. “Hopefully we’ll know then.”

“It depends on whether the baby cooperates or not,” Justin said.

“Well, I expect an update as soon as you know,” Jennifer demanded. “I want to start shopping for my first grandchild. Oh, and we’ll have to plan a shower.”

“We take lots of showers,” Brian drawled.

Justin slapped his arm playfully. “Not that kind of shower, asshole.”

Part Five

Justin rubbed his back between trips to clear the table and Brian set aside what he was doing. His hands on Justin’s tight back muscles gave almost instant relief and Justin moaned with pleasure. “God that feels good.”

Brian rubbed for a few more minutes before he stopped. “Let’s finish cleaning up and then I’ll give you a real massage, starting with your feet, which I’m sure are aching. You spent too much time on them cooking dinner.”

Justin sighed as he picked up the dishes. “They are a little sore.”

They quickly finished the cleanup and headed for the bedroom. Justin stripped and Brian took a moment to just savor the sight of him. Justin’s belly was definitely beginning to grow. It really wasn’t that noticeable when he was dressed, especially now that Justin had some clothes that actually fit him, but naked…

“You’re so f*cking hot,” Brian murmured.

Justin huffed an incredulous laugh. “I don’t think so.”

“No really,” Brian said as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Justin from behind. “You’re always hot, but right now, knowing that our kid is growing inside you… well, it just makes everything even better.”

Justin turned in his arms and looked up at Brian’s face. “You really mean that?”

“Yeah, I do,” Brian said before capturing Justin’s lips in a heated kiss.

When they broke apart, Justin had a dazed smile on his face. “Can we skip the massage and get right to the f*cking?”

“We can,” Brian said. “But we’ll get to the massage after. I don’t want you waking up in the middle of the night with a back ache or leg cramps. That’s rather annoying when I’m trying to sleep.”

“Asshole,” Justin muttered, but he forgot to be annoyed when Brian captured his lips once again.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Dinner at the Novotny house the next evening was interesting. As promised, Justin and Brian arrived early to explain to Debbie. Carl was at the grocery store picking up a few last minute items, so they had the redhead to themselves for a few minutes while they told her everything.

“So that’s why you’ve been looking a little plump lately,” Debbie said with a smile.

“Plump?” Justin gasped. He turned to Brian, “Am I fat? You’d tell me if I was fat, right?”

“You aren’t fat,” Brian said with a roll of his eyes. “Debbie just meant you look healthy, right Deb?”

Debbie seemed to realize that Justin was a little sensitive right now and quickly agreed. “Of course that’s what I meant. sh*t Sunshine. You look great. And you’ve got a healthy glow about you too.”

Justin was satisfied for the time being but Brian knew that the blond wasn’t finished worrying about his looks. Brian would simply have to keep reminding him how hot he was, no matter how big the baby got.

The rest of the family arrived over the next half hour and, other than giving them a few strange looks because they were actually on time, no one seemed to pick up on the fact that something was up. Even Debbie’s blissful smile wasn’t a give-away since most of them thought it probably had something to do with sex with Carl and not one of them wanted to consider that possibility too closely.

Brian and Gus spent the pre-dinner time talking and wrestling while Justin talked to Emmett about what he should wear for his upcoming graduation. It was a full house that night; everyone came. The table was crowded once Debbie called them all to sit.

“So, before we start, I think Brian and Justin have something they wanted to say,” Debbie told them.

“sh*t, they aren’t together again are they?” Michael whined.

“And if we are?” Brian asked with a scowl on his face.

“Brian, you two are not right for each other,” Michael said. “You make each other miserable!”

“Well, that’s not true,” Emmett said. “Both of them are happier together than they ever are apart. Justin smiles more and Brian doesn’t growl as often.”

“This isn’t about us getting together,” Justin said. He wanted to cut that discussion off before it got too heated. Melanie looked like she was about to say something and Justin didn’t want to let her. It would just piss Brian off even more. “We wanted to tell you that I’m pregnant. I’m due in September and, yes, Brian is the father.”

Justin sat back and started to eat his dinner. He figured they would argue around him. In the meantime their little parasite was hungry and so was he.

“Way to drop the bomb, Sunshine,” Brian muttered quietly in the silence that ensued.

“Justin, baby, you’re a carrier?” Emmett asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Justin shrugged while he swallowed a bite of lasagna. “It never came up.” He went back to eating.

“Well, I assume that this wasn’t a planned pregnancy?” Lindsay asked Brian since Justin was obviously more concerned with his food than the discussion.

Brian snorted. “Not unless it was planned by Debbie. Her eggnog really packs a punch.”

“Asshole,” Debbie murmured fondly. She was too happy about the baby to be her usual loud self.

“Does this mean I’m gonna have another sister?” Gus asked.

“Or brother,” Brian said. “We don’t know which it will be yet.”

“Well, if they give you a choice I want a brother,” Gus said.

“I’ll let the doctor know, Sonny Boy,” Brian said with a chuckle. Then he looked around the table. Most everyone was stunned into silence. Some, like Debbie, Carl, Ben and Gus, looked truly happy for them. Emmett looked like he wasn’t sure if he should be happy or upset that Justin hadn’t told him sooner. Ted already knew and gave Brian a small smile. Melanie, Lindsay and Michael, however, looked like someone had pissed in their cheerios. “Do we have a problem?”

“I think we might,” Melanie said.

“It’s nothing that can’t wait for a more opportune time,” Lindsay said. She gave a meaningful look at Gus and the others nodded in agreement. They could talk when Gus wasn’t around.

Justin watched the interplay, but continued to eat. “Debbie, do you have any hot sauce? If not, spicy mustard would be almost as good.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

Finals came and Justin aced them as usual. Jennifer planned a graduation party and Emmett was catering the event. In the meantime, however, she was busy looking for the perfect place for her son and grandchild to live. The Saturday after finals, she took Justin and Brian out to look at places.

As they drove to the first house, Jennifer asked, “So, any word on whether it’s going to be a boy or a girl yet?”

Justin smiled at her. “We’re having a boy.”

“Gus will be happy,” Brian said with a smirk. “He told me to make sure I asked for a brother for him.”

Jennifer chuckled. “Justin was not pleased when we brought Molly home. He wanted a brother too.”

“A brother would have been cool,” Justin said. “I could have taught him stuff and we could have played together. Molly only ever wanted to play with dolls.”

They went to three houses, none of which Brian approved. Justin didn’t mind that he vetoed them, since he wasn’t very keen on them himself. They were nice enough, but didn’t really have the right personality. They looked more like houses that Michael or Lindsay would choose.

“There’s one other place I wanted to show you today,” Jennifer said. “It just came on the market. It’s on the South Side. I know it’s a little further away from Liberty than the rest of these places, but I think you might like it.”

“The factory conversion project?” Brian asked.

“That’s the one,” Jennifer said. “It’s not far from East Carson Street and all the shops there, but it’s on a quiet side street that overlooks the river. The development company put in a lot of amenities to appeal to young professionals and small families. The building even has an indoor pool and a fully equipped gym. And there’s a park with a playground on the property as well.”

“Sounds good so far,” Justin said.

Jennifer drove them to the complex. It was actually two buildings that used to be a steel mill. There was plenty of reserved parking for tenants, and they could see the playground from where Jennifer parked. In fact, that small park was the only thing between the complex and the river.

They stopped at the security desk to sign in and Brian was pleased to see that they were very well equipped with the latest technology. He would feel comfortable having Justin and their son living here. They took the elevator up to the fifth floor, the top floor, and went to the unit furthest west on the river side of the building.

“This unit is a little larger than we discussed,” Jennifer said as she unlocked the door. “But there are only a few units left available for purchase and the others are all only two bedrooms.”

They entered the unit and Brian was immediately impressed. They entered into the open living space which contained the kitchen, dining and living room. It was the corner unit and the living room had two walls of windows overlooking the river and downtown Pittsburgh. The kitchen was furnished with black granite counters, vibrant red lacquered cabinets and restaurant grade appliances.

To the right of the entry there was a wide hall that was lit from above by skylights. Down that hall, there were three bedrooms, two full baths, a laundry room and a utility room. Two of the bedrooms shared a bathroom and one was a separate guest suite. Each room had lots of light from the north facing wall of windows. The utility room and the laundry room which were right behind the kitchen didn’t have windows and were only half the depth of the bedrooms. Justin went back out to the main room and found that there was a office/library backing up to those rooms.

“The master suite is over here,” Jennifer said. She led them to the left of the entry to a door neither man had noticed before. “The suite runs along the side of the building to the back corner.”

The suite was huge, with a sitting room and bedroom separated by a half wall. The bedroom area again had two walls of windows. The master bath had a steam shower with multiple shower heads and a soaking tub large enough for two grown men. There were two sinks and a large linen closet in there as well. The walk-in closet was almost as large as Brian’s bedroom at the loft.

“The windows throughout the unit are equipped with smart glass,” Jennifer said. “They are controlled remotely and can turn on the opacity, blocking the view. That way you don’t have to clutter up the windows with curtains for privacy.”

They went back out to the main room and Jennifer led them up a staircase near the entrance to the master suite. “The unit comes with a private rooftop garden. Three of the units on the top floor have their own access and the gardens are separated by a privacy fence. The rest of the building shares the remaining garden space. Basically, your garden matches the footprint of your unit.”

The garden was huge. Along the privacy fence, built-in planters had already been filled with shrubs and flowers. The skylights were blocked off from foot traffic, surrounded by built in teak benches. There was a small outdoor kitchen up there as well, protected from the elements by a pavilion.

“The gas is supplied from the unit, so there’s no need to worry about propane tanks,” Jennifer said. “There’s a refrigerator and beverage cooler under the counter as well.”

“I love this place,” Justin said as he sat on one of the benches and looked out at the view of the city. “But there is no way I can afford it.”

“It’s within the price range Brian gave me,” Jennifer told him.

Justin glared at Brian. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I told you I would help out,” Brian shrugged. “And this place is perfect. It has everything you want. It’s safe. There’s even an extra bedroom for you to turn into a studio.”

Justin sighed. “Mom, can you give Brian and I few minutes?”

“Sure, sweetie,” Jennifer said before taking the stairs back into the apartment.

For the next twenty minutes, Brian and Justin negotiated exactly how much help Brian wanted to give and how much Justin was willing to accept. In the end, they agreed that Brian would pay for half of the unit, his portion serving as the down payment, thus reducing the monthly mortgage to something Justin could afford. The unit would be in both their names. Brian would also pay half of the taxes and condo fees as part of his child support. Justin wanted to limit the child support to just that, but Brian wouldn’t agree to it. He insisted that he would also pay for the baby’s daycare expenses and any educational costs as he got older. Brian fully intended for their child to get the best education that money could buy.

“So, deal?” Brian asked once they had hashed it all out.

Justin shook his head in fond exasperation but offered his hand to shake. “Deal.”

Brian smirked at him and used Justin’s hand to pull him into an embrace. They sealed their deal with a kiss.

BJBJBJBJBJ

They went back down the stairs to find Jennifer. She had already gotten out her laptop and was preparing the offer. “I assume you came to an understanding?”

“We did,” Justin sighed. “And you can put in the offer for 5% below the asking price. We’ll negotiate up to the full price, but only if they pay closing fees.”

Part Six

“Brian, you coming to Babylon tonight?” Mikey asked his friend a few days later. He’d come to Kinnetik to talk with Brian since Brian never seemed to return his calls these days.

“No, I have plans with Justin,” Brian told him. Truthfully, he and Justin hadn’t made any specific plans, but it had become the norm for them to spend each evening together. He knew that Justin wouldn’t care if he went and spent a night a Babylon without him, but he didn’t really want to go there without the blond. And since Justin hadn’t shown any interest in going since he’d really begun to show, Brian wouldn’t go either.

“sh*t Brian,” Michael muttered. “Justin has you twisted around his finger. You do realize that this baby is just another way for him to manipulate you, right?”

“What the f*ck is your problem?” Brian asked. “Justin is not manipulating me.”

“Brian, the twink kept his carrier status a secret from everyone for five years,” Michael said. “And then he just happens to end up pregnant just when you are getting on with your life?”

“First of all,” Brian said angrily, “Justin never kept his status as carrier from me. I knew the same day he found out. And secondly, Justin was the one who walked because I wouldn’t give him what he needs from our relationship.”

“See, he’s manipulating you!” Michael said triumphantly.

“No, he’s standing up for himself,” Brian said. “He’s never asked me for more than I’m willing to give. f*ck, the little sh*t has never asked me for anything but my time and attention.”

“He wants to change you!” Mikey said. “He’s trying to turn you into a Stepford fa*g!”

“Jesus Christ, Michael!” Brian swore. “What happened to the guy who was telling me how great a committed relationship is just a few weeks ago? Was that all just bullsh*t? Or was it only for the professor’s benefit?”

Michael frowned. He didn’t see the connection between the two conversations. “Of course that wasn’t bullsh*t. A committed relationship is great. But not for you! You’re Brian f*cking Kinney, for god’s sake!”

“So what the f*ck does that mean?” Brian demanded. “I’m not good enough to have the happiness that the rest of you have?”

“You’re better than us mere mortals,” Mikey said with pride. “You don’t need the same things that the rest of us need.”

Brian shook his head and leaned back in his chair, suddenly exhausted. “That’s such bullsh*t, Mikey. I’m not some f*cking god or superhero. I’m human and I need love as much as the next man. I’m not perfect and I’m not great at all the romance sh*t, but I’m trying to learn because Justin deserves that.”

“Why him?” Michael asked. “What’s so goddamn special about the stalker twink?”

“Why do you love Ben?” Brian asked. “Why does anyone love anyone else? I can give you a list of a thousand things that I love about him but they won’t mean anything to you. In the end, all that matters is that I love him and he loves me. We just have to work out exactly how to be together.”

“So you are trying to get back together with him,” Michael said despondently. “He’s going to break your heart again.”

“No more so than I break his,” Brian said. “You never want to see it, but we didn’t get together because he forced me. And we didn’t break up because he did something to me. Yes, he pushed his way into my life in the beginning, but within a few days, I was the driving force behind our relationship. I kept him around because I couldn’t handle not having him with me. I pushed him away because I couldn’t handle the feelings he brought out in me. I’m the one who did all that, not Justin.”

“But he—”

“f*ck Mikey,” Brian said tiredly. “You’ve got to stop blaming him. I’m the one who chose not to f*ck you. I’m the one who couldn’t love you the way you wanted. If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me. Do what you need to do to get this out of your system, but do it fast because I won’t have you talking about Justin the way you have been.”

“I don’t understand,” Michael said.

“Michael, you can’t keep insulting the man I love and expect me to just listen to it,” Brian said. “For five years you’ve done your best to cause problems for me and Justin. You’ve badmouthed him over and over again. You came in here today and spouted a bunch of bullsh*t. You obviously don’t know Justin at all if you think he would use me. And you apparently don’t know me at all if you think I’m going to sit back and let you get away with belittling him. So either stop the sh*t or stay the f*ck out of our lives.”

“Brian…”

“Go,” Brian said firmly. “Think about what I said. Figure out if you can give up this obsession once and for all. Because if you can’t, I don’t want to be friends anymore. Is that clear enough for you?”

“Yeah,” Michael muttered in shock. “Yeah that’s clear.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian had another visitor that week. This time it was Lindsay. “I don’t think you’ve thought through what having another child will mean.”

“What the f*ck are you going on about?” Brian asked.

“I mean, how is this going to affect Gus?” Lindsay asked. “You have obligations to our son.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Brian said angrily. “When you and Melanie made me sign over my rights to Gus, all financial and emotional obligations were negated. Anything I have done for Gus since then, I’ve done voluntarily because I love my son. So don’t pull this sh*t with me, Lindsay. Now what do you want?”

Lindsay was angry enough to let her WASPish demeanor drop. “I want you to guarantee that you won’t stop supporting Gus! We depend on that money! We have two children to raise and we can’t afford to do it on our own.”

“That’s f*cking bullsh*t,” Brian said. “Your wife makes damned good money as a lawyer. And your job at the gallery pays better than you’d want me to believe. You can easily afford to raise two children without my money. You don’t want to do without my money. That’s the truth. You want to still be able to afford those lovely days at the spa and to take vacations at expensive resorts. You want to be able to buy clothes that are above your means.”

Lindsay was fuming, but there was no way she could refute those statements. The truth was, if they cut back on their personal expenses, there would be plenty of money in their budget to care for the children.

“I’ll tell you what,” Brian said. “You two sign an agreement for shared custody of Gus and I’ll guarantee to continue paying child support for him. Maybe I should get a lawyer to see what rights I actually have to my son. Considering I’ve paid child support and been an emotional support even after signing those bogus papers that Melanie drew up, I’m pretty sure I would have a decent case.”

“You’re a heartless bastard,” Lindsay said. “If you don’t give us the money, you’ll never see Gus again.”

“Of course, I’m the bastard,” Brian said ruefully. “But I’m not the one trying to extort money. When did you become such a bitch?”

“You should never have agreed to take responsibility for this baby,” Lindsay hissed.

Brian shook his head. “I never intended to take away support for Gus. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind until you came in here making demands. Your greed is unbelievable. Did you know that Justin refuses to take as much child support as you and the witch demand from me every month? And he’s only got one income. Well f*ck this sh*t. My lawyer will be in touch. And if you dare to try and keep me from seeing Gus, you’ll regret it. I’ll sue you for everything you own, including full custody of my son.”

“That’s nonsense,” Lindsay said disdainfully. “You have no desire to be a full time father.”

“You’re wrong about that,” Brian warned. “You’re wrong about a lot of things. Don’t think for a minute that I’m not deadly serious here Linds. You want a guarantee that I’ll support my child. Well, I want a guarantee that you and your wife won’t be able to keep holding him hostage for more money. I want a contract in writing giving me shared custody. And I want it put together by an impartial third party this time. Go home and talk to your wife.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

“I hear you’ve been making a lot of enemies lately,” Justin said after dinner that night. They were sitting on the sofa in Justin’s apartment and Brian had his arms wrapped around Justin, stroking the restless baby through Justin’s belly. “First Michael and now Lindsay and Melanie?”

“Michael was being a sh*t,” Brian shrugged. “Just because I didn’t want to go out to Babylon with him, he started spouting sh*t about you. How is it your fault that I don’t want to do something with him?”

Justin chuckled. “Brian, it’s always been my fault, no matter what the topic.”

Brian sighed, “I know. I should have done something about that a long time ago. I don’t like when he says that sh*t about you.”

Justin didn’t say anything about that. Part of him was soaring at the thought that Brian had finally taken his side over Michael, but part of him hated to see the two men at odds because he knew it hurt Brian. “What about the stuff with Gus?”

“Lindsay is such a selfish bitch,” Brian muttered. “She and Melanie got all worked up about our baby because they thought that would mean I’d have less money to give to Gus. And if I give less to Gus then they have less money to spend on themselves. So she came into the office making demands about guaranteeing my support.”

“I never understood how they could ask you for anything considering they made you give up your parental rights,” Justin said.

“I never should have agreed,” Brian said. “I should have listened to you. I should have let the bitches break up and found another way to deal with the frog. Hell, I could have sued for joint custody then.”

“You weren’t ready for joint custody then,” Justin reminded him.

Brian leaned so he could see Justin’s face. “You think I am now?”

“I think you’ve always been a great father,” Justin said. “But you know it now whereas you didn’t then. So yes, I do think you’re ready now.”

“You think I could be a full-time dad?” Brian asked.

“If that’s what you wanted,” Justin told him sincerely. “When you set your mind to something, there’s nothing you can’t do.”

“Thank you,” Brian said quietly.

They were both quiet again for a while. Brian continued to sooth the baby. He had found he loved to feel their son moving inside of Justin. It was not something he had ever experienced with Gus.

“Can you tell me something?” Justin asked.

“Probably,” Brian said with a smirk. “Depends on what you want to know. For instance, if you want to know the elevation of Mount Washington, I can’t help you there.”

“Smart ass,” Justin chuckled. “No, I was wondering why you haven’t been going to Babylon or Woody’s.”

“Oh that,” Brian shrugged. “It’s been brought to my attention that you can’t live by my rules, so I thought I’d see if I can live by yours.”

“Brian… I don’t want you to change for me,” Justin said quietly. “That isn’t why I left.”

“So you didn’t leave because you can’t live the way we have been for the past five years?” Brian asked skeptically.

“Well, yes, that’s why I left,” Justin admitted. “But I’m not trying to change you. I love you the way you are.”

“And what if I want to change for me?” Brian asked.

Justin hesitated but pulled away so that he could look Brian face to face. “Is that what you want?”

Brian shrugged again. “I know I’m not happy without you in my life. As more than just a friend. I know that tricking hasn’t made me happy. And everyone else seemed so sure that settling down made them happy. So I thought I could try it out.”

“Really?” Justin asked.

“Really,” Brian said. “And so far it hasn’t been too bad. I get all the sex a man could want from you. I have more energy for other things since I haven’t been spending all night trolling the clubs or the bars. Even when we’re just hanging out together, I like being with you. And I feel a lot healthier without all the drugs and booze. So yeah, I think maybe I could do the settling down thing. Besides, I’d rather retire my title as stud on my terms rather than become a joke. I can hear them thirty years from now, ‘There goes Old Man Kinney. He's senile...still thinks he's a club boy.’”

“You’ll never be old to me,” Justin said. “And I think I could still be persuaded go dancing. Well, once I’m not the size of a house.”

“You’re nothing close to the size of a house,” Brian said. “So does that mean we can give this a shot?”

“I’m not ready to move in together yet,” Justin said cautiously.

“Yet, being the operative word,” Brian smirked. “I’m gonna like living at the new place. I call dibs on the library.”

“You must be serious if you’re considering leaving the loft,” Justin chuckled and settled back into Brian’s arms. “If this is still going well when we sign the final papers, you can have the library for your office.”

Brian hugged Justin close and whispered in his ear, “I love you, you know.”

“I do know. I’ve always known,” Justin replied, thrilled that Brian had finally said those three words out loud. “I love you too.”

Part Seven

The graduation party was interesting, considering three of the guests weren’t talking to Brian and Brian never once left Justin’s side. Justin was perfectly happy to ignore them, however; he was just glad to be able to celebrate with the rest of his family and friends. Besides, he agreed with Brian on all counts. Lindsay and Melanie had been taking advantage of Brian for too long. And Michael needed to get over his obsession with Brian. Not even being married to Ben had really changed the man. Maybe Brian’s ultimatum would.

Gus had a great time at the party and demanded to stay with his daddy and Justin that night. Melanie and Lindsay refused, which resulted in a very unhappy five year old throwing a fit. When Mel slapped Gus, both Ben and Emmett had to hold Brian back from hurting Melanie.

“If you ever lay a f*cking hand on him again, you won’t have to worry about custody rights,” Brian warned her through gritted teeth. “I’ll have you in jail so fast your head will spin!”

Lindsay quickly ushered both Mel and a sobbing Gus into the car. Gus’ shouts of “Daddy!” could be heard as the car pulled down the block and around the corner.

Brian’s heart felt like it was being ripped apart. He turned to Justin and the blond willingly held him. “You do whatever it takes, Brian. I’m with you on this."

BJBJBJBJBJ

Jennifer learned her lesson with the graduation party and decided not to invite the girls to the baby shower. Brian nixed Michael as well. But with the employees from Kinnetik and several of Justin’s friends from school in attendance, hardly anyone missed them.

By the middle of June, they were able to sign the final papers for the new condo and begin thinking about decorating. Since everything had continued to go well between the two of them, Justin didn’t object to Brian’s desire to move in. In fact, he was rather looking forward to it. They had spent many nights together since Justin’s hormones had kicked into overdrive, but there were still nights when work or other obligations forced them to be apart. Justin found that he really hated those nights. It wasn’t really a surprise, considering they had been apart for eight months before that, but now… now there was no reason not to be together. Brian had given him everything he could ever want.

“We should decorate the extra bedroom for Gus,” Justin said as they were considering the designs from Brian’s decorator.

Brian sighed. “I don’t know. With everything so up in the air with his mothers right now, I’m not sure we should do anything too obvious.”

“On the contrary, I think now is the perfect time to do something like that,” Justin said. “Gus needs to know that his place in your life isn’t going to change with the new baby. And the judge will want to know that we’re serious about making Gus a part of our family.”

They had been forced by Lindsay and Melanie to pursue Brian’s rights in court. After the graduation party, they had refused to let Brian and Gus see each other at all. It was tearing Brian apart not being able to see his son. Their lawyer had already put in several appeals to the court for a speedy hearing and they were scheduled to go to court in two weeks.

“Okay,” Brian said. “We’ll make a room for Gus. I just hope he’ll actually get to use it.”

“He will,” Justin said. “No judge can doubt that you love your son.”

“Maybe not,” Brian sighed. “But you know that they’re going to bring up my tricking and drug use.”

“Those two have no room to talk,” Justin said. “They’ve both had affairs. They’ve both used drugs since Gus was born. If they start pointing fingers, then we’ll point them right back. Besides, you’ve been clean since the cancer last year and you haven’t tricked in months. You’re settling down with me and preparing to raise our child together. Your past is just that, the past.”

Brian nodded but then turned his attention back to the designs. “I like what he’s done with the living room and the nursery, but I was thinking maybe something different for the master bedroom.”

“Like what?” Justin asked. The designs for that room were fairly similar to what the man had done at the loft during the post-Stockwell redecorating.

“I don’t know,” Brian frowned. “Something… warmer. Still clean lines and minimalist, but warmer colors. Furniture with wood grain instead of all this chrome and gray sh*t. More like what he did in the living room. This is supposed to be a family home, not a f*ck pad.”

“Okay,” Justin said. “I like the sounds of that. What about the garden?”

“Those are great,” Brian said. The designer had set up the roof garden to mirror their living space below. There was an area for eating and cooking, an area for sitting that included an outdoor kitchen, and an area that was more secluded by planters with a hot tub. The decorator had checked with the co-op and the architects and knew that the roof was structurally sound enough to accommodate the feature. He had even included storage space for storing the cushions. All of the outdoor furniture was modern in design and fit in with the overall design of the apartment, but was still comfortable.

“If he gets everything finished soon, we can have a house warming party before the baby comes,” Justin said. “It would be nice to have a cookout. No one else has enough outdoor space to really entertain outside.”

“As long as you promise not to overdo it,” Brian said. “The doctor said we need to keep your stress levels down as much as possible.”

Justin gave Brian a chaste kiss and said, “No overdoing it. I’ll let you do the grilling and Emmett can arrange everything else. How’s that sound?”

Brian snorted, “The part about Emmett sounds good, but if you actually want edible food, I’d suggest you let someone else handle the grill.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

Working full time at Kinnetik wasn’t much different than his time as an intern. Justin was given more responsibility for projects, but he was basically doing the same thing now as he had then. The biggest difference was the hours. That and the fact that everyone now knew that he was having Brian’s baby. Some of his colleagues were a little wary around him now. He supposed that was natural.

At least everyone now understood why Brian would come and stand outside of the art department for no reason. At seven months pregnant, Justin was definitely feeling some of the effects of pregnancy. He found his balance was off slightly and there were times when he would just start to tumble, especially after just getting up from sitting for too long. Brian always seemed to be right there to catch him. The doctor said his balance was off because men have a higher center of gravity and the baby messed that up. It was all perfectly natural.

Of course, Brian didn’t see it that way.

“Maybe you should take maternity leave early,” Brian said.

Justin sighed. “I’m just as likely to trip at home as I am here.”

“But there’s less pressure,” Brian said. “I don’t think you should go to the hearing tomorrow. It’s going to be too stressful.”

“Brian, I’ll be fine,” Justin said with exasperation. “If I need bed rest the doctor will tell us. But it will be more stressful to me if I have to wait around for word tomorrow than it would be if I was just there.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asked. “I don’t want anything to happen to either of you.”

“I’m sure,” Justin said. “Now, tomorrow is going to be a big day, so why don’t we go to bed and you can give me a back rub before f*cking my brains out?”

“I like the way you think,” Brian smirked.

BJBJBJBJBJ

The hearing was being held in a small court room that didn’t resemble any court that Justin had ever seen on television. It was more like a conference room. Lindsay, Melanie and their lawyer were already sitting on one side of the long table when they arrived. Brian, Justin and their lawyer took seats on the other side. For long minutes, no one said a word. It was only when the court recorder and the court clerk entered that the silence was broken.

“Judge Harte is just finishing up her interview with Gus,” the clerk said as the recorder took a seat at the table and set up her equipment. “Gus will wait with the judge’s administrative assistant until the hearing is over.”

A moment later, the judge entered the room. She was relatively young, only a few years older than Brian, and very pretty. She definitely didn’t look like any judge Brian had expected. “Okay, let’s get this moving. Mr. Kinney, as you are the one who filed the petition, I’ll hear from you first. Can you tell me, in your own words, why we’re here today?”

Brian took a deep breath and nodded before speaking. “A few months ago, my partner Justin and I found out we are going to be parents. When we shared this news with Mel and Lindsay, they were anything but pleased for us. Lindsay came to me a few days later demanding that I guarantee them that I would continue to support them financially or else they would cut off my visits with our son Gus.”

“According to the contract you signed following Gus’ birth, you were not legally obligated to pay support for his care,” the judge prompted.

“No, your honor,” Brian said. “But he’s my son. I’d never let him go without. I never wanted to give up my rights in the first place.” Brian went on to detail the circ*mstances surrounding his finally signing over his rights to Gus. “I wanted him to have a happy home, and so I did what I could to make sure he had that.”

“In the counterclaim that Ms. Marcus and Ms. Peterson have filed, they state that they have concerns about your ability to be a positive influence on your son,” Judge Harte said.

Brian nodded; he’d known that the bitches would bring up his past. “The way I conducted my personal life in the past wouldn’t be considered positive by most people. I know that. I was afraid of commitment and love. I came from an abusive home and it took a lot for me to get past that. But I have come a long way from the self-centered asshole I used to be thanks to Justin.”

“Tell me about your current relationship,” the judge said.

“Justin and I have been together for five years,” Brian said. “Not all of those years were perfect. We had a rough time for a while, but we love each other and we’re ready to be a family together now.”

“We just bought a new place,” Justin said. “We wanted to have room for the new baby and for Gus.”

Judge Harte nodded as she looked down at her notes. “Justin, what’s your take on all of this?”

“I’ve been with Brian since Gus was born,” Justin said. “I’ve seen how much he loves his son. I have no doubt that he’ll be a wonderful father to our child as well. As for Brian’s past, he never allowed his partying to interfere with his responsibility to Gus. He never drank around Gus. He never brought men around Gus. He would never do that. He’s been clean for almost two years now and only drinks a glass of wine with dinner or the occasional beer with friends. He hasn’t been to a club in months. It’s interesting that Mel and Lindsay think he’s no longer a good influence on Gus just when Brian’s really cleaned up his life.”

“Why do you think they’ve voiced those concerns now?” the judge asked.

“Because Brian has always been the cash cow,” Justin said. “They’ve taken advantage of his generosity for years. They both make a decent living, but somehow it’s Brian’s responsibility to provide for all of Gus’ financial needs? They took his parental rights and if he doesn’t pay up, they won’t let him see Gus. This isn’t the first time they’ve done that, it’s just the first time Brian has fought back. The father of their daughter, JR, isn’t expected to pay for anything, yet he retained his parental rights. I think the only reason we’re here today is because Brian and I decided to have a child together and they’re afraid he’ll stop paying their bills.”

“We’re here because he’s an asshole,” Melanie muttered angrily.

“He’s the asshole who has kept your farce of a marriage together,” Justin spat back. “He’s the asshole who paid for your wedding and your marriage counseling. He’s the asshole who gave up his rights in order to make sure that you two were happy together. Melanie, you need to get over the fact that Brian f*cked Lindsay in college. It was fifteen years ago. Let it go already. It’s not his fault if she’s still hanging onto some pitiful dream of happy ever after.”

“Ms. Peterson,” the judge said, taking control once again of the proceedings. “Can you express your concerns with Mr. Kinney’s custody of Gus?”

“I’ve known Brian for fifteen years and he has always been more concerned with getting his physical needs met than with the people around him,” Lindsay began.

“If he was that selfish, why continue to be friends with him?” Judge Harte asked. “Why ask him to be the father of your child?”

“Because…” Lindsay couldn’t seem to come up with an answer to that question.

“Is it true that Mr. Kinney has helped not only with paying for Gus’ care but for counseling for you and Ms. Marcus?”

“Yes,” Lindsay said quietly.

“Did he tell you why he did that?” the judge asked.

Lindsay slumped back into her seat. “He said he didn’t want Gus to grow up in a war zone like he had. He wanted Gus to have a happy childhood.”

“Ms. Marcus,” the judge said. “You have made it abundantly clear that you do not approve of Mr. Kinney. Can you tell me exactly why that is?”

“He uses people,” Melanie said. “He uses men for sex. I don’t want my son to grow up around that.”

“Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor have both stated that Brian has given up that lifestyle,” Judge Harte pointed out. “Can you refute that?”

Melanie looked like she really wanted to, but she said, “No.”

“So why exactly did you change your stance on Gus’ visitations with Mr. Kinney if it wasn’t about his behavior?”

Melanie didn’t have an answer for that.

“I think I’ve heard enough,” the judge finally said. “After speaking with Gus, it’s clear that he considers not only Mr. Kinney to be his father, but also Mr. Taylor. He expressed his unhappiness with not being able to see them for the past two months. He has also told me about the time he spends with his father, and about how Mr. Taylor will spend hours with him, giving him undivided attention; attention he clearly feels is lacking at home. I have found no evidence of anything that would disqualify Mr. Kinney from being a proper father to Gus.

“On the other hand,” the judge said, “after reviewing the facts of this case, I can see that there is definitely something underhanded going on here. Ms. Marcus, Ms. Peterson, I have reviewed your financial statements. I have also reviewed the financial support that Mr. Kinney has given to the two of you over the years. He has paid more than ten times the state maximum requirement for child support each year of Gus’ life.

“The custody agreement you prepared, Ms. Marcus, despite being quite thorough, has been voided by two things,” Judge Harte told them. “The first is the fact that you and Ms. Peterson demanded and received financial support for Gus’ care. The second is the fact that you broke faith by using another donor for your second child without offering the opportunity to Mr. Kinney first. There was a clause in the final contract that included first right of refusal.”

“sh*t,” Melanie murmured. It was obvious that she had either not noticed the clause or had forgotten about it.

“I am awarding joint custody for Gus to Brian Kinney and Lindsay Peterson,” Judge Harte said. “There is no obligation for any further financial support on either party’s part. Gus has requested two things and I am inclined to grant both requests. The first is that his name be officially changed to Gus Peterson Kinney. The second is that he would like to live with his father and Mr. Taylor full time and visit with his mothers. You will share custody, but Gus’ primary residence will be with Mr. Kinney. Visitation will be set at two weekends a month, three weeks in the summer, not necessarily sequential, and every other holiday.

“This ruling will stand until either Gus chooses otherwise or his mothers can prove to this court that they are not more interested in the money that Mr. Kinney can provide than they are about the happiness and welfare of their child.” Judge Harte banged her gavel and quickly left the room.

All parties were silent with shock as they processed everything that the judge had said to them. The lawyers left, discussing the paperwork that would need to be filed and the recorder left soon after that, until only the four parents were left.

“Oh my god,” Lindsay finally sobbed out. “Gus doesn’t want to live with us.”

Justin was subdued as he quietly said, “Did you think he never picked up on the fact that you used him for money? He’s asked me at least a dozen times why you won’t let his daddy see him unless you get money. He’s also asked why you talk bad about his dad but not JR’s and why JR’s daddy doesn’t have to pay to see her. He asked if it meant that you love her more than him, because you like her dad more than his. You really think he doesn’t pick up on that sh*t? Well, I guess you were wrong.”

“Let’s go, Sunshine,” Brian said gently. “Gus is waiting.”

Justin allowed Brian to help him to his feet and they left the room together. The sound of Lindsay’s tears followed them out the door and down the hall.

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“Daddy!” Gus exclaimed when Brian and Justin entered the judge’s outer office. He was coloring with the assistant at her desk. Gus dropped everything to run over to his father. “The judge lady said I’m gonna live with you and Justin. Is that true?”

“If that’s what you want,” Brian said. He wanted Gus to know he had a say in how things would play out.

“Awesome!” Gus shouted and punched a fist into the air.

“It is pretty awesome,” Justin agreed. “We’re moving in to a new apartment and you’ll have your own room next to the new baby’s room.”

“My brother,” Gus said with a satisfied nod. He had been rather smug ever since Brian had told him that the baby was a boy.

“Your brother,” Brian agreed. “So, you ready to get out of here? We’ll go have lunch at the diner and then you can help me and Justin pack up Justin’s apartment. We’re moving next week.”

“What about the loft?” Gus asked.

“Already packed,” Justin said. “Your dad’s been staying at my place until the move. Now, you should go thank the nice lady for keeping you company and then we’ll go.”

“Thanks!” Gus said to the judge’s assistant. “I had fun.”

“It was my pleasure Gus,” the woman replied with a smile. “I’m glad things worked out the way you wanted.”

“Me too!” Gus said. “Bye.”

“Bye,” she said with amusem*nt.

Soon, the family was on their way out of the office and out of the courthouse.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Life with Gus proved to be interesting. And yet, neither Brian nor Justin would have changed it for the world. There were so many changes that they had to deal with, however none of them were enough to put a damper on their new happiness.

Each morning, Brian and Justin would help the little boy get ready for school while they got ready for work. Gus, at almost five years old, was eager to do as much for himself as they allowed. He was thrilled when they gave him freedom to do things for himself. Brian even—reluctantly—allowed Gus to choose his own clothes each morning, something his mothers never did. He was excited at the prospect of going to a “real” school in a few weeks, too.

Brian had pulled a few strings and had gotten Gus enrolled in one of the city’s best and most liberal private schools. They had a strong arts curriculum, which Justin liked, as well as the best academics in the region. The school started with preschool and went through high school, so the new baby would be able to go there in a few years as well. As an added bonus, it wasn’t far from their new apartment, so it was rather convenient as well.

In the meantime, Brian would drop Gus off at preschool on the way to work and then Justin would meet him at Kinnetik. Justin, at Brian’s insistence, cut back his hours so he was finished early and picked Gus up from daycare. Once school started, Brian figured that Justin should be free to spend time with Gus and the baby in the afternoons, so he had every intention of making the new hours permanent. Surprisingly, Justin didn't argue. He wanted to spend as much time with the kids as possible while still maintaining his career.

Gus loved the new apartment, and especially his bedroom. The decorator had kept the design simple, without a lot of kiddie stuff that Gus would outgrow quickly. Instead, he had concentrated on using bold colors and simple yet practical furnishings. He loved his loft bed that allowed him to have a desk and play area beneath. He really liked the new computer his Dad had bought for him. Once they moved in, Justin and Brian took Gus out and let him choose several framed posters to hang up in the room to really make it his. They were both surprised when he chose posters of high-end sports cars rather than any of the character posters they saw.

“That’s a Lamborghini Gallardo LP 550-2 Spyder,” Gus said as though it was the best thing he had ever seen in the world. “And that’s a Porsche 911 Turbo Cabriolet. Those are soooo much cooler than Sponge Bob.”

Brian and Justin both shrugged. Neither of them were really car guys, but if that’s what Gus wanted, then that’s what Gus would have.

Gus’ first weekend with his moms came around and Justin and Brian were both a little wary. Gus didn’t seem to think that there was anything to worry about. He was looking forward to seeing JR. Not living in the same house with his sister made him appreciate her just a little bit more.

“I don’t want to go back,” Gus said when Brian asked. “I miss her and Mom and Momma, but I like it here way better.”

Brian and Justin decided to both go for the first exchange, so Brian left the office early on Friday to pick Gus up from daycare. They all went out for ice cream before heading over to the munchers’ house. Gus ran up the sidewalk almost as soon as Brian pulled the car to a stop. Brian and Justin followed behind him at a more leisurely pace.

Lindsay met them at the door with a small smile on her face. “It’s good to have him back, even if it’s only for a few days.”

“We gave him a cell phone,” Brian told her. “He has both our numbers programmed into it and he knows he can call us for anything.”

Lindsay sighed. “Okay. I’m not sure Mel will like it, but it’s your decision to make. He just seems too young for a cell phone.”

“He’s growing up,” Justin said kindly. “He has likes and dislikes that are completely independent of any of his parents. He’s smart, too. He just wants to figure his own way. As long as he isn’t doing something detrimental, I don’t think it would hurt to give him a little freedom to explore. He knows the boundaries and as long as he doesn’t cross them, I think we’ll all be okay.”

“Which means, he’s not allowed to use his phone to call friends after seven,” Brian said. “But he can call us anytime, day or night.”

“Alright,” Lindsay agreed. “So, we’ll see you at Debbie’s on Sunday?”

“Yes,” Justin said. They had agreed to make the exchange there, since they all went almost every week.

Gus came back to the door and gave both Brian and Justin hugs. “I’ll call you tonight.” Then he touched Justin’s belly. “See you soon, little brother.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

“It’s too quiet,” Brian complained the next afternoon. They had quickly gotten used to Gus’ presence in their lives and home. “We should go out and do something.”

Justin sighed as he rubbed at an ache in his back. “What did you have in mind? Just remember, I’m not exactly in shape for anything too physical.”

“Damn, I guess that rules out roller blading and rock climbing,” Brian drawled. “No, I was thinking more along the lines of dinner and a movie. Once the baby comes, we won’t have much time for things like that.”

“You realize that what you are proposing sounds suspiciously like a date,” Justin smirked at his lover.

“f*ck, you,” Brian grumbled.

“Not on a first date,” Justin teased. He wasn’t surprised when Brian grabbed him and kissed him breathless.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian and Justin hosted a Labor Day cookout and invited all of their friends and all of the employees from Kinnetik. Not everyone came or stayed the entire day, but they still had around fifty people in and out through the day. True to his word, Brian hired Emmett to cater the entire affair, though he was roped into watching the salmon steaks and burgers briefly. Gus had a great time, since, while Mel and Lindsay didn’t stay, they did drop off JR and he was able to show his little sister his new house. And his Aunt Molly spent most of her time with them.

Most of the employees left early, having other parties to attend, leaving just the family to sit around the fire pit and shoot the sh*t until the fireworks.

“How much longer do you have to go, baby?” Emmett asked Justin when he finally stopped rushing about and joined everyone.

“Three weeks,” Justin sighed. “I honestly can’t wait. This being pregnant sh*t is getting old.”

That brought a laugh from most people. Brian smirked. “You think it’s rough on you? You aren’t the one who has to go out looking for Chinese food at two in the morning.”

“Asshole,” Justin muttered teasingly and shoved at Brian’s shoulder.

“Have you thought of names?” Debbie asked.

“We have,” Brian said. “But we aren’t sharing yet. Justin might change his mind again.”

“I’m not the one who keeps changing his mind,” Justin muttered. “I was perfectly happy with Charles Raymond.”

“My kid is not going to be called Chuck,” Brian said.

“Well there are some pretty bad playground connotations for the name chuck,” Ted said supportively. “I mean, Up-chuck is pretty common.”

“Well, we’ve got a name,” Justin said. “We just have to wait for the baby.”

BJBJBJBJBJ

“Brian,” Justin said into the darkness of their bedroom. Brain grunted and rolled onto his side. It was a pretty common occurrence for Justin to shove him to get him to stop snoring. He didn’t even wake up anymore. Justin rolled his eyes and shoved his lover again. “Brian!”

“Huh?” Brian moaned groggily, still not completely awake.

“Goddamn it Brian!” Justin shouted. “Wake the f*ck up!”

“What?! I’m up, I’m up!” Brian said as he startled awake and shot into a sitting position. He saw through bleary eyes that Justin was sitting up beside him on the bed. “What’s wrong, Sunshine?”

“The kid is done playing kickball with my kidneys and wants to come out and play for real,” Justin said.

“Huh?”

Justin rolled his eyes again. Brian was completely useless without coffee. “We have to go to the hospital. The kid is ready to make his appearance.”

Brian blinked at Justin a couple times. “He’s early.”

“Yeah,” Justin agreed. “You’ll have to teach him about being fashionably late later. Right now, I—” Justin was cut off because a contraction hit and stole his breath away. He grabbed Brian’s arm and squeezed tightly until the pain had passed. “f*ck, that hurts.”

“You’re serious,” Brian said, now fully awake. “sh*t, Sunshine, we have to go!”

Brian leapt from the bed and began tossing clothes around as he looked for something suitable to wear. In moments, he was dressed and waiting by the door. “Well?”

Justin sighed. “I’ll get dressed while you go get Gus ready to go. We can drop him off at the Munchers’ on the way. And don’t forget to grab the hospital bag. It has my clothes and stuff for the baby.”

“Right,” Brian said as he hurried from the room.

Fifteen minutes later, they were in the car and on their way over to Lindsay and Melanie’s house. Gus was talking a mile a minute, excited that his baby brother was finally gonna be there. Brian’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as they drove through the city. He had tried to convince Justin to bring Gus with them and let the munchers come pick him up, but Justin insisted that they had time.

Justin called ahead, so the two women were waiting to take Gus as soon as they pulled into the drive. “Sorry for the early morning call,” Justin apologized.

“You can’t control these things,” Lindsay said with a smile. “We’ll stop by the hospital later. Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Justin said with a smile.

“Can we go now?” Brian asked with a hint of frustration.

“Go,” Lindsay said. “And try not to worry too much, Brian. Justin and the baby will be just fine.”

Brian grunted and put the car into drive.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Once they reached the hospital, things went very quickly. Justin had been scheduled for a C-section the following week, but since the baby insisted on coming early, they had to move it up. So, as soon as they had Justin prepped and the doctor had time to check everything out, they were wheeling Justin into the operating room and Brian, swathed in an ugly green gown, followed.

Standing beside Justin’s head, Brian held the blond’s hand and watched in horrified fascination as Dr. Guest made an incision low on Justin’s abdomen and began pushing and prodding until their baby slid out. Brian snapped a few pictures with the digital camera Justin insisted on bringing, but he wasn’t sure anyone would ever want to see these pictures. But once the baby was out, he decided that maybe it was good to have this moment recorded.

The baby was gray and covered with blood and other fluids that Brian did not want to identify. He was moving, but he hadn’t started to breathe yet and Brian began to worry just a little bit. But as he watched, the doctor rubbed the baby’s back until he took in a deep gulping breath of air and then let it out again in a wail. It was the most beautiful sound Brian had ever heard in his life.

“He’s beautiful,” Brian leaned over to whisper to Justin before placing a grateful kiss on the blond’s lips. “I love you so much.”

Justin had tears in his eyes as he smiled at Brian. “I love you too.”

Dr. Guest interrupted the moment and offered Brian the chance to cut the umbilical cord. It was another fascinatingly gross sight, but Brian wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity. Then their baby was being hustled off to be cleaned and checked over and Dr. Guest went back to dealing with Justin. While she was still sewing up the incision, one of the nurses brought the baby back over and handed him to Brian.

Tightly swaddled in a hospital-issued baby blanket, their son looked up through sleepy eyes at him and Brian knew that he would never forget this moment for as long as he lived. Justin laid a hand on Brian’s arm and Brian turned to show him their son.

“He’s got your eyes and nose,” Brian said as they stared at their son together.

“Your mouth,” Justin said. “And your cheeks.”

“But that blond hair is all yours,” Brian said.

Justin grinned. “It might get darker as he gets older.”

“I hope it stays blond,” Brian admitted. “How long before we can tell what color his eyes are going to be?”

“Six months to a year,” Justin said, his eyes never leaving those of their son. “At least that’s what the books all said.”

“Brian, Justin,” the nurse said apologetically. “We need to take the baby back for a few tests and Justin needs to be cleaned up. Brian, you can come back and see both of them in recovery in about twenty minutes.”

Brian handed the baby over and then leaned down to kiss Justin again. “I’ll go make the calls. Your mom and Molly should be awake by now. And Debbie should be finishing up her shift at the diner.”

“Don’t forget to call Gus,” Justin said sleepily.

Brian chuckled. “Never. He’d kill me in my sleep if I did.”

“He is your son,” Justin agreed.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Once out in the hall, Brian took a few minutes to simply breathe and try to absorb everything that had just happened. He was a father again. Holding their son had been just as emotional as the first time he held Gus, only this time he was stone cold sober and totally in love with Justin. He knew enough now to know how much this small human would change his life, something he hadn’t known with Gus. And like the pregnancy, he intended to savor every minute of it.

With a grin, Brian pulled out his cell phone and headed outside for a cigarette. He called Jennifer first, and then Debbie. Both grandmothers promised to stop in as soon as they moved Justin to his private room, which should be within the hour. Then he called Gus and his firstborn son got Lindsay to promise to bring him over to meet his brother as soon as he finished his breakfast. Next, he called Cynthia and told her that she would need to rearrange his schedule for the next couple weeks. Anything that she and Ted couldn’t handle would have to wait until he got back. Then he called Ted, and then Emmett. He considered calling Michael and after crushing out his cigarette, he finally dialed the familiar number.

“Hey,” Brian said as soon as he heard the familiar voice.

“Brian?” Michael said with wonder. Brian hadn’t called or spoken to him since that day in his office. “What’s happened?”

“Justin had the baby,” Brian said with a small smile. He just couldn’t help it when he thought about the baby. “I just thought you’d want to know.”

“That’s great,” Michael said, but his voice was hollow. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Mikey,” Brian sighed. “I… I gotta go. Justin should be in recovery by now and I don’t want him to be alone.”

“Right,” Michael said. “Thanks for calling.”

“Sure,” Brian said and hung up. He stared at his phone again for a long time, but knew he wouldn’t be calling back. He’d made the only choice he could make. Now it was up to Mikey to decide if he could live with the way things were. Brian was content with his life with Justin and nothing was going to interfere with that.

BJBJBJBJBJ

“So? When are you two going to tell us the name of this precious angel?” Debbie demanded. She had finally gotten a turn to hold the baby after Jennifer and Gus had both had their turn.

“Gus?” Brian prompted.

Gus grinned at his dad. “His name is Liam Oran Taylor-Kinney.”

“Liam,” Jennifer sighed. “It’s a beautiful name.”

“I got to pick,” Gus said proudly. “Dad and Papa picked out three names and I got to pick the winner.”

“And you kept it secret all this time?” Lindsay asked with amusem*nt. “That was very sneaky.”

“Dad promised to get me a new game for my x-box if I kept it secret,” Gus told them. “So now we get to go shopping.”

“He’s a tough negotiator,” Brian sighed dramatically. “I tried to bribe him with cookies, but he held out for the big stuff.”

Justin chuckled. “You’re a soft touch, Brian. Face it.”

Before Brian could retort, Justin yawned widely. He had napped for a little while in the recovery room, but he had to be tired. Brian knew he was and he hadn’t had surgery. “Okay, I think it’s about time Justin and Liam get a little sleep.”

“Liam is already sleeping,” Debbie said as she placed the baby into the clear plastic baby bed. She glanced at Justin, and saw how tired he was. “But we’ll go and let you all get some rest. You too, Brian.”

Soon Brian and Justin were left alone with Liam. Brian took the recliner beside Justin’s bed and stretched out as best he could. The night’s events were finally catching up with him. Before he fell asleep, however, he reached out and clasped Justin’s hand in his.

BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian stayed home with Justin for two weeks while he recovered from surgery. He expected to be chomping at the bit to get back to work, but when those two weeks were up, Brian was reluctant to leave. He found that Liam, Gus and Justin were more than enough to keep him happy and fulfilled. But Kinnetik kept them all fed and clothed, so he sucked it up and headed back into the office. And once he was back, he remembered why he loved his job so much, but he realized that he now loved his family more.

Justin didn’t go back to work for almost two months. During that time, he used Liam’s nap times to paint and he interviewed nannies. They wanted someone who would stay with them at least for three years, until Liam started preschool. They found a young woman fresh out of college who was taking night classes for her post-graduate degree in education. So when the time came for Justin to go back to work, Lydia was ready to take on Liam’s care.

It took a few months for Justin to recover from the surgery, but three months after Liam was born, on a weekend that Gus was with his moms, Brian and Justin headed out to Babylon. They spent the entire night dancing together and only had eyes for each other. And when the last song of the night played, they held each other close and went home together.

They had made it through the trials of life and knew deep down that they could make it past anything that came their way as long as they faced it together.

The End